Saturday, January 2, 2010

Age...the dictator

It dawned on me the other night, while sitting in a restaurant scanning the menu and searching for things that I could digest that wouldn't upset my stomach....that my age is dictating my every move. Yes, it's come to this...where I have to time my eating habits with the time of day. For garlic, onions, dairy, caffeine, beef or any heavy meals after 6:30ish. If I do there is a price I have to pay and it's not pretty. Which leads me to this next topic. While trying to pick the right formula off the menu, I need my reading glasses. Holding the menu up to the hanging light above the table or asking Eric "what does this say?" just doesn't cut it anymore. And I've taken a whole new approach to shopping too. I just hang my little readers from my clothing so that if need be, I can just reach for them...kinda like a six shooter but instead of reaching from the hip...I reach for the bosom from which they hang...the readers that is.

Now that I've reach the 50 mark..Oh, OK...past the 50 mark, there are certain body parts that demand our attention . Certain tests can only be taken when the magic number comes up...50, it's like Vegas, all the bells and whistles go off. It seems that not only do our outside gets old but our insides do too, so we are now subject to pricks, jabs, insertions , squeezing, pamphlets and brochures with pictures of very happy seniors on them.

Activities? Sure I'm active...even more so than before except I don't do Aerobics, run, play a sport that involves the above or participate in any contact sport. You see, these activities are not so good on knees, backs and shoulders...all of which I have problems with which is why I swim, do water aerobics,yoga and walk. Thank God not one of these activities needs reading glasses.

How 'bout the stuff you can't Hormones. Oh I know their there, just not all the time and when they do show up I think they go get their buddies and play street hockey in my head because honestly, it seems that where they show up the my head. I can see crying once in a while and at appropriate times but every freakin' day? I'm one has that many Kodak moments in their lives.

Sex...yeah, I got your attention now huh? You know your older when you have to stretch a little in anticipation AND sometimes during and perhaps after too. I just tell Eric it's a new move...hey! at least I'm moving!

So my point being that everyone has to fine tune their lives and their daily routine just so we can adjust to our getting older. And when I'm 80 years old, I just hope I can still find the humor in it...some one have a camera ready cuz it'll probably be a Kodak moment...I'm just sayin'


  1. I am sure that you make the "hanging readers" look good!

  2. Bunny: I love the post, I have been there it does get better. I have entered your name for the give away with all the extra points. Noah wanted me to tell you, he could be bought! Blessings my friend. Martha

  3. HA! You always make me laugh. Sam will be 51 tomorrow. We try to walk most nites because the body parts start to get stiff if you don't keep moving. Love the look of your blog. It's all clean and spiffy! Wishing you a warm and wonderful day. Blessings, Tammy

  4. There's a plus to everything, here it is...You're not going there alone. Your friends are right there with you, crying, cramping, pooping and stretching. What a lovely bunch we are!

    See you soon...even if I have to wear glasses to do it!


  5. I totally understand.

    I not only need glasses to read... I need them to think! I can't tell you how many times I have started to read something (without my readers) and can't figure out why I don't understand what I am reading. It is as if I am trying to read a foreign language.

    Also, I am forever losing them. So I have stashed a pair in every room of the house. I also keep a pair on top of my head... sometimes TWO at a time.

    I can't tell you how many times I have asked, "Where are my glasses?", only to be told they are on my HEAD!

  6. OMG. I love you. I am having the darnest time with my eyes and those hormones.....being an aging woman is confusing!!! But in it all, my dear Bunny, you have made me laugh out loud here at 6:45am. I LOVE YOU! and I just love your bunny header and black and white motif. Anita

  7. Bun Bun...I do love you so! You make me laugh and even I am feeling like a walking petri dish and have fever and all that crap, I am laughing!


  8. Bunny dear you are NOT alone. Aging is not for the weak! It doesn't even have a flippin sense of humor! Keep your chin up (better to find the grey hairs there)! You have lots of company... me included.

    Thank you for your hugs, prayers & support for Reba & I. I am waiting with baited breath for bloodwork results on Monday. Hugs! Charlene

  9. Bunny,
    This is so funny when you put it the way you do. We all have to cope with aging, even us 50+ men who have our own versions of stuff slowing, creaking, drooping, graying, fading, weakening, multiplying, and surprising us involuntarily.

    I second Marie's sentiment that friends and loved ones make this journey to Antique Road Show bearable.

    Thanks for visiting my blog, and yes Ramon is my brother.


  10. You completely crack me up! Love the comment about *shhhhhh* sex.

    Too funny!

  11. Oh too funny! I love the card.
    You are so correct about aging.I really hate it. Not sure I want to get any older. Can I stop here please! I can't imagine what it will be like at 80 if I feel this way at 52. YuK!
    Oh well we have to keep positive.
    Love your humor. Helps me in so many ways.


Go 'head...say it already!