I'm Commencing to Speak...

Graduation is upon us and what I see on TV are Movie Stars and Celebrities giving the Commencement speeches at hoytie toytie Universities and Colleges around the country. What do they have to say, that I, myself, couldn't say or what advice do they have that would be better than mine? I'm old enough to give advise...I give it all the time to my daughters, whether they want it or not. I've lived through some things...I know stuff. I'm rational and practical enough to realize a few things that perhaps rich people on TV may have not thought about. So, even though no one has asked me ...here is my Commencement Speech to the Class of Life, such as it is.






*** Bumps on the road may mean something,...I don't know what, but it might.

***At the work place, laugh and have a good time , but still do your job. Make yourself indispensable...like the place can't do without you. Stand Out!

***If your the boss, remember what it's like to be an employee...don't' be an ass!

***When talking to people, look them in the eyes.

***Do what makes you happy in life and if it doesn't pay well...than don't complain or get another job.

***Expect to start at the bottom and be OK with it.

***Learn to manage your money...whether your rich or poor.

***Call parents once in a while.

***Travel a lot if that's what you want...once your married you probably won't do it much.

***Don't lone money to friends or family and if you do...see it as a gift and don't expect it back...once or twice only.


***If you have children teach them practicality and strength. Unfortunately they will live and die with out you, it's sad but true. Make them strong.

***Listen to people who don't have children...they're usually right.

***No children? If you have pets..do not talk to them like children out in public...it's annoying.


***Things almost always look better in the morning.

***Go ahead and go to bed angry with your partner. Your calmer in the morning than staying up late trying to fix things.

***If after college you don't want to work, that's fine, but move out of your parents house, they've had enough of you,, but realize the effect of it on you and others.

***Pay attention to the little things...you never know what you might miss.


***Smile at strangers and be polite...open doors, say good morning and good evening..it'll impress them. It's good for them...it gives them hope for the human race and it makes them happy for the day.

***Be yourself, that way you have no one else to blame..good or bad.

***Depend on people they will come through.

***Learn from your failures. If you don't have any...go out and buy a lotto ticket.

***Keep your old friends, they're the ones that know what the hell your talking about when you get old.

***Make new friends along the way, but be picky.

***Listen to old people, they usually know what they're talking about. When your old, wouldn't you want people to listen to you?

***If no one sees it...it still counts.

***The grass is greener on the other side for just a little while and then your lawn is full of weeds.

***You'll realize success when you get there.

You can book me for 2010 if you like...I'm available.