I feel like a Woman (warning..girl stuff)

Before I sat down at the computer, I turned on the radio and Shaina Twain's song, "I feel like a woman" was playing and so I thought, that's what I should title this entry. I do feel like a woman, now more than ever. Why now you ask? Well, after coming back from the doctors office it is official...I'M PERI MENOPAUSAL. I kinda knew that as I have experienced lack of concentration, forgetfulness, and slight mood swings. I still had a period, in fact it was more regular than when I was younger. I would visit with my friends who are my age give or take a year or two and I would listen to them and sit there quietly and take in all their experiences. They would talk about hot flashes, dryness, sweating, irritability and a full or partial hysterectomy, but for some reason I thought I would sail through this because at 53 I never had any problems in those areas and hadn't experienced those symptoms....till now.

It has come to my attention that I am insane and experiencing an on going nightmare. Ok, that's a little dramatize but when I say nightmare that's right on. It started with me feeling out of sorts and then light headed. You know vague but your just not right, then the burning started and no it isn't my cooking, it's my insides. My hole body from the inside felt like it was on fire. No sweating just heat radiating from the inside like fire in my veins as I put it to the Dr. then came the flood of heat from either up my body or down my body. Now at this point, I'm in denial because it's summer and I dislike summer very much due to the heat, so, naturally I assumed it was that, but when the insects started to crawl on me, my summer theory went out the door and I made an appointment with my Dr. I started feeling jittery all over like I had 20 cups of coffee and you all know I don't drink coffee. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't sit or stand in any one place at a time due to the restlessness and because of all this going on pretty much simultaneously, I was dwelling on it and because I was dwelling on it, I was emotionally drained but mostly driving myself crazy. I would feel something on my body and magnify it and then dwell on it.

Needless to say, the Dr. knew right away. I kinda knew, but it came on so suddenly that I wasn't prepared. Is anyone prepared? When the Dr. first stepped into the exam room the first thing I said to her was "Look, Dr., I've been coming here a long time and you know I'm not crazy. Everything I'm gonna tell you sounds nuts but it's happening" and with that, we were off and running. She's pretty positive I'm experiencing symptoms of Peri Menopause and that from everything that she's heard it's caused from hormones....DAMN hormones. She gave me a choice, I could go with hormone therapy or anxiety relief..as in Prozac. Just let me say that alone scared me to death, so I asked her what would she do. We decided on the hormone thing and I just started something called Premphase which is a low dose of estrogen and something else...I forgot. I have an appointment with the lab for hormone, thyroid, blood sugar and a couple of other tests but I can't do it till after my vacation, so in the meantime I'm taking a xanax at night to sleep until the Premphase kicks in...in about 2-3 months.

So Eric might have to build me a summer shack in the backyard so I can sleep and the water bill might go up from all the cool showers in my future and until I get the results back from my test I'll just have to wing it, but it has been a nightmare and now that it has happened I just want to say...THIS SUCKS! I'm just say'n loud and clear!

by the way, on a Menopause Website they listed 35 most common symptoms and I had 17. I'll say it again...this sucks!

TV...

There is absolutely nothing on TV....NOTHING! I could channel surf till I'm blue in the face and I'd still not find anything remotely funny, interesting or entertaining. Whatever happened to television, I mean, it used to be that you'd turn on the TV and you would have a least one or two items to choose from, but I can't and mostly I refuse to wrap my head around a TV program that thinks that people dating in the dark is what I want to see or not. How about a show where a plus size women finds a date...hmmmm, imagine that and why would I watch a game show that's not only in Japanese, it's dumb and has no redeeming quality what so ever, not that I find a higher education in it, but at least I want to learn a little something. Remember on weekends you could find old standard movies like Weathering Heights or An affair to Remember or something for your funny bone like Ma and Pa Kettle, Abbott and Costello or Our Gang. Oh sure, there might be an interesting Spanish Novela or a Korean Soap Opera on and Eric has managed to find a soccer game or two but television has sure changed with the gradual entrance of DVDs. Movie studios are making big bank of all our favorite shows and leaving us with "America's got talent", which in my opinion, you could go to any community theater and find just as good or better talent...without an obnoxious host. And don't even get me started on that loud mouth woman on "So you think you can dance", let alone the pompous British dude. Yeah, there might be a couple of shows that are worth seeing like LOST, The Office, 30 Rock but they're on vacation or they are reruns and I have to wait till fall. I want to see some good TV now! And yes, I could talk to my hubby or daughter or do something constructive around the house and I do, do those things, but when I'm tired or just want a break I want to plant myself in my chair and watch something on TV. Here are just a few of my favorites TV programs growing up.......

Action and
eye candy...
fun and...


Entertaining





Wow...It looks like I live in the
60's or something.




It's just that all of these programs were and still are very
entertaining and some of them you even learned a thing or two.

Ok...now I'm starting to sound old.

I even remember the theme songs to some of these. Real toe tappers! Well, in any case, I am bored to tears lately which would explain me being on the computer so much and that would explain the tennis elbow which in turn would lead me back to the TV...with nothing to watch.

The man at the Gas Station...

As we pulled into the gas station, we both noticed a man standing in the middle of the pump lanes. Just standing there. He was tall, lean and very elderly. He was looking back and forth, kinda like he was looking for something. As we pulled along side a pump we watched him. He took off his hat and scratched his head still seeking something. I mentioned to Eric that this man may have Alzheimers or perhaps he needs help. He walked over to a car that was on the other side of where we were and again he stood there. Just when Eric was about to ask him if he needed help, a women walked up to him, probably his wife, as she was a little elderly too. Eric pumped the gas as I waited in the car and I watched the man. He attempted to take the nozzle from the pump, but his wife ended up doing that task for him, she handed him the nozzle but he had a hard time guiding it to where it was suppose to go, so, she guided his hands. He stood there and I could tell he was a bit frail because he shook a little and every movement was slow and methodical. Why was I watching his every move and why was I so concerned about him? Eric got back in the car and we were quite for a while before I said "I feel so sad for that man", "Why" Eric replied, 'I pictured him as a young viral healthy man with a family and a life ahead of him and now he can't even put gas in his car" and then it happened....I started crying and I was the one driving. I don't know why, I didn't know him and it's not that time of the month. It just hit me. Needless to say, Eric was surprised, he asked if I wanted him to drive and if I was OK. He told me that the man would be alright and that he obviously had his wife to help him and probably had family too...but I can't help thinking of the people who don't have any one to help them. I hope there will be people around to help me when I'm old...better yet, I hope I let them.

That Bye Bye Gal...

Eric and I went out to dinner tonight and at this particular restaurant, the walls are covered with movie posters, pics of celebrities, sports paraphernalia and all sorts of interesting tchatchkes. His back was against the wall and above his head was a poster of Elvis Presley and Ann-Margaret advertising the movie Viva Las Vegas. Now I know this is gonna be a shocker, but, I've never been a big fan of Elvis or even a little fan, but I do remember idolizing Ann Margaret. I was a young and I guess a very influenced girl who thought that Ann Margaret was the end to all ends. She was wild and gorgeous and oh so hip. On top of all that she was very talented. I can remember laying on my stomach in my living room watching her every dance move in Bye Bye Birdie. Her arms and legs flinging here and there and the very mod dance movements. Her hair, OMG, her hair was to die for, all that thick luscious flaming redness. They don't make them like that anymore. Well, I guess I still do enjoy her a little....I'm just say'n

Department of Bad Ideas...

The military has come a long way from the time when it packaged cigarettes in with rations. Remember all those old black and white war movies where there would be bombs exploding and bullets whizzing by soldiers heads who are sitting in a fox hole no doubt smoking a cigarette?

Well apparently, according to the Defense Department, a committee, appointed by the department recommends that the Defense Department establish a timeline to eliminate all tobacco use on military installations to protect the health of all military personnel, civilian employees, family members and visitors. This committee has suggested that the military should "phase out" smoking all together in military academy's, new recruits, all military staff and eventually career military personnel and veterans.

Ok..where do I start...hmmm how 'bout, smoking is a personal choice not a public or governmental one. I don't like to be around smokers, but I also realize that people who smoke also have rights. I am appalled at the idea that the government can try to moralize this country with their secret agendas, all the while acting like they are doing you a favor. Again, smoking is a personal choice, there are special areas in which people can smoke, there are buildings that don't allow it and signs that will tell you "no smoking", so I think, In my opinion, we have struck a compromise in this controversial matter. Hey I have an idea, how about we make drinking alcohol illegal (insert sarcasm) for military people when drinking it on their own time while we're at it.

The Defense Department is saying that it is in the best interest of all the veterans who's health they are concerned about but the bottom line, as always, money. The amount of money it cost to take care of veterans who have contracted diseases due to smoking is astronomical. Ok, I don't doubt that, but how are you going to force a veteran who, probably has been smoking most of their lives stop smoking? And....as far as I'm concerned, the military doesn't really take care of the veterans that well right now, in fact, a lot of their facilities are run down, a huge percentage of veterans don't receive the services they need or they have to wait for them, military personnel who are wounded have not been given all the options that they need to live fulfilled lives and this doesn't even include their families. So why should we be so concern with smokers when we could focus on their treatment or should I say the non treatment of our military men and women who fight for this country and aren't given a fair shake when they come home, no matter what condition they are in?

Perhaps if the government felt this strong regarding the health of our military, then perhaps we shouldn't start wars that cost this country so much money and that we could use that money in other ways. Look, I'm really not trying to get political, because I'd rather write about a whole lot of other things, but when I hear and read about our government sticking it's nose in our business again, I just have to say something. If 20% of this country smokes and 80% of smokers want to quit but don't or can't, then why would this government even think that eliminating smoking from the military would even work? Smoking is harder to stop than any drug on the planet and I realize it is a major health concern for many people, but it is a private matter and should remain that way.

Cigarettes kill, but so does stress and bullets. I can't think of a more stressful time that being in a war. I've never been in one, but what I do know, is that when there is action all around you and maybe your thinking I'm not gonna make it, if you want to light up I say go for it. It could possibly be your last little pleasure in this life...I'm just say'n

7 things...

My friend Lulu, who by the way makes gorgeous jewelry and other trinkets, ask us all to write 7 facts about ourselves on our blogs. This was very hard as most people know I'm an open
book most of the time. So here are a few and hopefully you will continue your 7 on your blogs...

1. I have a slight case of "Compulsive disorder", as I like things put away and neat ~
2. I drink diet Pepsi or dietCoke everyday. One in the morning and one in the evening, except when I'm sick ~
3. I've always wanted to be anArchitect, but never had the time, money or brains ~
4. I have 2 daughters....15 years apart ~
5. I like to go trick or treating because I like to snoop inside peoples homes..just to see what they got and how they put it together ~
6. Because I don't really have much family, my friends are my family. I've had some friends for 46 years.
7. I am obsessed with buttons. I love to run my hands through a pile of them...enough said ~

Tennis Anyone?...

Unbelievable, I now have tennis elbow and I really didn't do anything to deserve it, you know, like playing tennis.



This is how I know...my elbow and arm hurt like hell.

Eric has the same thing and he's had it for a while now so he

has shown me exercises that help and I had to buy another one

of these to wear.

He said we could wear them together when we go out and perhaps start a new trend. I'm

thinking I could "bedazzle" mine and sell my lastest fashion statement at senior facilities.

Most likely it's from doing a lot of this

Almost done...

Well, here we go again! We are almost done, and when I say we, I actually mean Eric..He has



put up the chair rail and hung the new lighting fixture






and it works
















put up the new light switch plates


and my contribution... making my own matting for my vintage "cream of wheat" posters and then I painted the frames white

and I painted the medallion above the lighting fixture...










as I said, this renovation is 78% done(eric came up with that number) A little sanding and a little touch up paint here and there and we're good to go. The next pics should be a complete dining room full of furniture...stay tuned.

Ralph Lauren Advertisment

Today I decided to go shopping for me. This topic by its self deserves a blog entry, but that's not what I want to write about. I received a coupon in the mail for $10.00 off of anything at Kohl's department store. I put my readers on and I scanned the coupon looking for loop holes like they usually have, you know, must buy $100 dollars worth or if you open a new account or must be a leap year and lo and behold, nothing, $10.00 off anything including discounted items. Well OK then, so there I go and I actually found a couple of things for our vacation. Two pairs of Bermuda shorts and a very pretty wrap around black and white paisley blouse. I first went into the dressing room to try on the blouse, liked it, came back out to cruise some more and that's when I found the shorts. When I came back into the dressing room with the shorts and looked in the mirror I was surprised to see that my blouse was on inside out. I was walking around the women's department with my blouse on inside out....and no one told me.



First of all, I can not believe that I did that, jeez, I've had senior moments before, but that one took the cake, cookies and the whole bakery. I was wearing a red Ralph Lauren Polo shirt, you know the ones with the polo emblem on the left side. Well, when I got home, I took it off and turned it inside out to see if I noticed a difference... still red, the gold thread of the emblem is showing and kinda looks like the emblem on the outside, the big black RL tag exposed along with the XXL and of course the seams. Now that I look back, I remember when I put it back on, the collar was acting kinda weird...now I know why, sheesh! But what really gets me, is that no one said a word to me, no one. My hair was up in a clip so I know all that stuff was showing, but nooooo, not one "honey your inside out", or "excuse me ma'am" and not even a "Wow XXL"...nothing. So I guess that's a prime example of people not paying attention to each other or just maybe no one noticed...I didn't and I had a mirror.

Who's There?

Yesterday morning I was home alone when I heard a knock at my front door. I don't like it when someone knocks at my door, especially in the middle of the day, which is why I usually don't answer it. I usually have the TV or music on and I know that whoever is knocking can hear someone or something going on inside, but I don't care. If I hear the door and I'm by myself this is what I do...actually I do it even if Raquel is home with me too. 1. Run and turn the TV or music down even though I know they already heard something 2. Sneak around the corner of the staircase ninja style and try to use my X-ray vision to see who it is through the opaque insert in the front door. 3. Wait till my visitor leaves. I stand motionless and wait till I hear someone walk down the steps of the porch. 4. Quietly tip toe to the front window and oh so gingerly peak through the living room curtains....and ta daaa, now I know who it was.

Why do I do this? I'll tell you why...1. I am anti social in the morning...even with people I like. 2. I'm not expecting anyone, so it must be someone I don't want to see. 3. It could be a hoodlum, hooligan, vagabond, derelict or someone up to no good. Not really, I just like those words so I tried to work them into this blog entry, but you get my drift....as in drifter...ha, ha! So now you know. You are always a welcome guest in my home, just call first and not in the morning and keep all your weaponry at home....I'm just say'n

cheryl

July 11, 2008 our friend Cheryl was in a horrific car accident and was knocked unconscious and shortly after into a coma. How it happened, why it happened, doesn't really matter at this point as her friends and family are way beyond that, you see, Cheryl is still in a coma a year later. Her boyfriend of 10 years, our friend Rick has been by her side from day one. He has been balancing work, gigs, he's a musician, helping with her website (click here) and helping out her family emotionally. He sings to her, reads to here, massages her, talks to her nurses and doctors and helps make major decisions on her behalf. The doctors don't know what to tell him about her condition and at this point have nothing else to offer except to make sure she is comfortable not knowing how long this could go on and to what degree. My point is, it's been 1 year and Rick is still there at Cheryl's side, although not as much as before due to location. Cheryl was recently moved to a hospital further away from him.

Eric and I have talked a lot in the past year regarding this type of situation and I'm not really going to get into it here, but I will say for the record....we got it covered. I just wanted to let you know that people like Rick exist in this world. People who love unconditional with all their heart and soul, even if the recipient cannot respond. Even if the future looks unclear or dismal they will be there fighting for whats best and be a positive force for the duration however long it takes. We love you guys ~

I must be Trip'n

Look what I stumbled upon...Let me explain. I'm soooo bored staying home that I told Eric I'd be right back, I needed to get gas. Well, I did intend to go get gas but, in route, my car gravitated to one of my favorite local stores....I have a very well trained car. This store is filled with antiques and vintage pieces of various sizes and shapes and as I was wondering around the store I all most ate it when I practically tripped on this




...and so, I bought it. It matches perfectly the chandelier I bought a while ago for the dinning room, except I don't have a pic of it...it's wrapped up nicely just waiting to be hung up.
I think my little trip to the gas station payed off. Oh yeah, I went and got gas too. All this in under 30 minutes...believe me, it's not a new record.

The End is Coming...

This morning sitting at a red light waiting to turn right, I noticed several people holding up big yellow signs on each corner of the street. I believe they were religious signs as I only caught glimpses of certain words like "repent", "sins" and "Jesus". OK I thought, freedom of speech...no big deal until I actually read the sign that was to my immediate right. It read "The End is Coming". I made my right hand turn and proceeded to continue down the street to my destination when I began to think. The end is coming, well I'll be damned (pun very much intended)I didn't get the memo. I'm assuming they are referring to the end of the world or something like that and why am I always the last to know and just when is this suppose to happen? You'd think with some very important news like that it would have been top of the news, before the death of Michael Jackson. In any case, I began to think...if the end is coming what would I do, where would I go and most importantly what would I eat?

At present time I am actually looking for a turquoise sofa, yeah, I know, but it's what I want and the only one I found that I liked is from Neiman Marcus and it's price tag is $3,500.00. So if the end is coming, I could probably purchase it on credit and not have to worry about the price and be able to enjoy my couch....right?



Depending on the timely demise of this planet, I could arrange a tour of French bakeries around the world and sample whatever I like and not worry about gaining weight as it would be a moot point.





I could travel to Spain and visit Sean Connery and we could share a very expensive bottle of wine and have a very enjoyable evening and since the world is coming to an end for him too... I think he would go for it.




I could have a party and the sky would be the limit. Imagine all the people I would invite and they would throw caution to the wind. I'm not saying it would be Sodom and Gomorrah but it would be wild, being that the end is coming soon.



So, if anyone knows when the "end is coming", could you let me know, because I need to figure out where Sean lives exactly, and start mapping out bakeries and planning a party...I'm just say'n

The I Wish Fairy...

Glitter Graphics

I Wish...

I know your tired of reading about my back, but just think how I feel. Useless, ineffective, unprofitable, idle, pointless, inept and any other adjective you have on your mind. At least I can sit at the computer...that's obvious. I wish I could go for a walk and check out the neighborhood and I wish I could go swimming, even though I look terrible in a swim suit and I wish I could go to TJ Maxx and Tuesday Mornings, my favs and just walk and walk and look and look. And I wish I could go to the OC Fair and watch my daughter in action and get in her way and I also wish I could go to Michael's because I'm thinking about making bracelets so that Eric and I could be independently wealthy and I wish I could go to the bathroom without cringing at the thought of getting up or down. Oh and I wish my husband and I could do a little fooling around sometime very soon and I wish I could wash my car or maybe my squirely grandsons can do it, but I wish I could have them over for the day. I wish I could straighten up my house and listen to music and dance while I'm doing it and I wish I could sleep without waking up every hour and a half because of the sharp pain and I really wish I was a better patient and I wish I would try harder to not be so grouchy and recognize that look of "walking on egg shells" on my families faces. But what I really wish is for a better economy and that my back problem is just temporary. I wish~

The neighbor's Drugs...

Everything was perfectly fine till last Friday morning...bum, bum bum (perry mason music playing) when I got or should I say tried to get out of bed. It seems my back goes out once in a while as opposed to my ankle or knee or mind. As I lay there cursing the back gods and wondering how am I gonna get up from this bed, the thought of laying there all day was enticing as I have a television, cd player both with remotes, fan up above me and two huge windows to stare out of and imagine I'm a lady of leisure and most importantly, a very able bodied daughter at my beck and call. When I finally came out of my fantasy I knew that I had to get up and do something,anything because as we all know, the Missbrenner household is a very important core element in the universe and god forbid we should shut it down and send our little universe into disorder.




After stretching and pulling and yanking and heavy breathing (I was by myself) I managed to make it up and to the bathroom where upon I went to the bathroom and changed my clothes. Now, if you yourself have a back problem you know that those two tasks are a sight to behold, and you can only imagine. So through out the day I am sitting with hot packs, cold packs, taking ibroprofen, crawling on the floor so that I can maybe stretch it out and basically there is really nothing I can do short of epidural shots and that's when I had a vision. Our neighbors who are away on vacation have a pool, Raquel is feeding there animals and tending to their plants and they are always suggesting we go for a swim as they never use it So, we go and it's a miracle...I'm cured. The pain is gone and I'm getting a tan all at the same time. Everything is copacetic until I get out of the pool and I can feel the weight of the world slowly coming back....literally!
According to my doctor, it is my sciatic nerve that's bugging me and basically nothing really helps. I've tried Chiropractors, Masseuses, yoga and everything else I could possibly think of, except Feng shui and a Hopi dance and don't think I haven't thought of those too.

Eric and Raquel help a lot but he's at work all day and Raquel is a teenager with bigger fish to fry.
Sunday, Eric was outside talking to the neighbor across the street and when he came back in the house he handed me a baggie and said "Look what I scored", Well, I haven't heard that statement in like 40 years, I chuckled. Apparently Jerry's wife (the neighbor) also has back problems, had an operation and kept her pain and muscle relaxer medication and said I could have some... but not all. Ok, I know what your thinking, I should no way, under no consideration, take someone else's meds, well...after I take the muscle relaxer (you thought you knew me huh?) do I start to feel better. I'm not loopy, dizzy, dingy, out of sorts or experiencing any altered frame of mind, not any more than usual ...the dull ache in my back is somewhat gone. Praise the neighbors drugs. So, needless to say, I am feeling a whole lot better, not fully together yet, but getting there and I only used the miracle drugs 3 times in the first 3 days. What sucks the most is that I haven't been able to do anything...swim, paint, clean the house, yard work, Oh wait a minute, maybe I should enjoy this little sciatic vacation because our real vacation will be here soon enough, and that's when the real work begins....I'm just say'n

It's Just Sitting There...

....And so what if I squirt Reddi wip in my mouth every time I open the refrigerator door, it's low fat and that counts right? I don't do this everyday...just the days it's in my fridge. I didn't buy it so I'm guilt free. My mother in law bought it and discovered she didn't want it so she gave it to us and when I say us, I really mean me. So, it's just sitting there in the door of my fridge and one or two or three little squirts aren't gonna hurt. When it's gone, it's gone...till the next time. I'm just say'n.


ps. Just found out it's Wip not Whip so I went back to the fridge for research and took another shot. Turns out it's Cool Whip. Anyways, does it really matter? I think not!

The Inevitable...

It is inevitable, death, we can't get away from it. We know it's coming and there's nothing we can do about it. As a child I never really thought about it. I guess I was too busy be a kid and going about doing my kid business. Not that many close family members died when I was young and plus, I wasn't forced to go funerals, so, as I started to grow up, the thought of going to a funeral was frightening and mysterious to me. Little by little, through the years, people I had relationships with or cared about started dying and I had to make decisions as to whether I was going to attend the mass, the viewing, the funeral and even the get together afterwords. It seemed the more I went to funerals the easier my decision was.

Just recently, my very good friend Marsha's brother passed away, very unexpectedly. He was 2 years older than me. This is the first person I know who was basically the same age as me and this time around I feel a little more vulnerable because if it could happen to him, then why not me? So the older I get I don't necessarily think about death per say, but the way a person goes. I'd like to think that a person dies the way they live. If you are a strong and stubborn person then you'll probably go out kicking and screaming. I like to think that I will be holding court around my death bed and everyone will be standing around me talking and laughing and reminiscing....but you never know...there's the rub! So what do we do? Well... we live. We live life to the fullest of our capabilities and choose the right and hopefully everything will be alright. One day when Raquel was about 10 years old she came to me and asked me what the meaning of life meant. I think she heard it from some television show, and so, I told her. Everyone's meaning of life is different but it's all good...I just know it is. I'm just say'n ~

What We're Up To...

This is what We'Ve been up to besides chauffeuring Raquel around, meeting friends for breakfast , ducking into old book stores, stopping by estate sales going to water aerobics and swimming laps and ReMoDeLInG AnD the usual boring household chores....and blogging of course.



TeNDiNg tO mY fLoWeRs AnD VeGgIeS...

aND FiNDiNg YaRd sAlE TrEaSuRes

rEfUrBiShInG a WrOuGht iRoN StANd...





pUtTiNg uP CrOwN MoUlDinG...






DoOrWAy CaSeInG AnD a NeW tHeRMaStaT cOnTroL tHiNgY...








AnD GetTiNg ReADy FoR ThE 4th oF JuLY...





HaVe A gOoD OnE!