Before I sat down at the computer, I turned on the radio and Shaina Twain's song, "I feel like a woman" was playing and so I thought, that's what I should title this entry. I do feel like a woman, now more than ever. Why now you ask? Well, after coming back from the doctors office it is official...I'M PERI MENOPAUSAL. I kinda knew that as I have experienced lack of concentration, forgetfulness, and slight mood swings. I still had a period, in fact it was more regular than when I was younger. I would visit with my friends who are my age give or take a year or two and I would listen to them and sit there quietly and take in all their experiences. They would talk about hot flashes, dryness, sweating, irritability and a full or partial hysterectomy, but for some reason I thought I would sail through this because at 53 I never had any problems in those areas and hadn't experienced those symptoms....till now.
It has come to my attention that I am insane and experiencing an on going nightmare. Ok, that's a little dramatize but when I say nightmare that's right on. It started with me feeling out of sorts and then light headed. You know vague but your just not right, then the burning started and no it isn't my cooking, it's my insides. My hole body from the inside felt like it was on fire. No sweating just heat radiating from the inside like fire in my veins as I put it to the Dr. then came the flood of heat from either up my body or down my body. Now at this point, I'm in denial because it's summer and I dislike summer very much due to the heat, so, naturally I assumed it was that, but when the insects started to crawl on me, my summer theory went out the door and I made an appointment with my Dr. I started feeling jittery all over like I had 20 cups of coffee and you all know I don't drink coffee. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't sit or stand in any one place at a time due to the restlessness and because of all this going on pretty much simultaneously, I was dwelling on it and because I was dwelling on it, I was emotionally drained but mostly driving myself crazy. I would feel something on my body and magnify it and then dwell on it.
Needless to say, the Dr. knew right away. I kinda knew, but it came on so suddenly that I wasn't prepared. Is anyone prepared? When the Dr. first stepped into the exam room the first thing I said to her was "Look, Dr., I've been coming here a long time and you know I'm not crazy. Everything I'm gonna tell you sounds nuts but it's happening" and with that, we were off and running. She's pretty positive I'm experiencing symptoms of Peri Menopause and that from everything that she's heard it's caused from hormones....DAMN hormones. She gave me a choice, I could go with hormone therapy or anxiety relief..as in Prozac. Just let me say that alone scared me to death, so I asked her what would she do. We decided on the hormone thing and I just started something called Premphase which is a low dose of estrogen and something else...I forgot. I have an appointment with the lab for hormone, thyroid, blood sugar and a couple of other tests but I can't do it till after my vacation, so in the meantime I'm taking a xanax at night to sleep until the Premphase kicks in...in about 2-3 months.
So Eric might have to build me a summer shack in the backyard so I can sleep and the water bill might go up from all the cool showers in my future and until I get the results back from my test I'll just have to wing it, but it has been a nightmare and now that it has happened I just want to say...THIS SUCKS! I'm just say'n loud and clear!
by the way, on a Menopause Website they listed 35 most common symptoms and I had 17. I'll say it again...this sucks!